The past few months I get these crazy ideas. Through my dreams, people I meet, random events. I get what my mom used to call “Holy Goose Bumps.” You would think at 41yrs old (accepting the Lord at 15) there wouldn’t be a whole lot that should shock me.
But the Lord does it.
Sunday afafternoon Pastor Matt had an “off script” service. The kind where you have a sermon planned but the Holy Ghost politely took over the service during worship 🙂 Ever since Angel walked out of our life, it’s been a roller coaster ride for my womanhood, my mothering, my friendships and faith. I constantly feel as though I’m walking up hill towards cold wind.
The confidence I once had as a Christian knowing God’s voice has been shattered and with that the clarity of my effectiveness to make decisions. I think there was a part in submission I failed. My views on that will never change. No matter what happened in my marriage, I will not let it destroy the foundations of my belief, however…shaken they may have been. But although an obvious freedom in submission there is a certain responsibility to myself and my children where I should have prepared myself. Learned a triad and had money aside. Having my house in order “just in case.” I’m not even speaking of a “what if” divorce scenario either. No matter what the circumstance my house wasn’t in order and I allowed myself to be unprepared. God is slowly teaching me on how to look pass the favor. Sounds crazed huh? Let me explain. I think, no, no, no. I believe that no matter where you find yourself in life, God will always show you favor and blessing. The sheer fact you are His! If you are lost, poor, wealthy, a King…a pauper…YOU are favored ❤ What I mean by looking past the favor, is from a completely different angle, perspective, thought..
and by doing that, you not only see the favor, the blessing.
But the actual revelation of who God actually is…as God.
All sovereignty, all power, all might.
Since I lost my “good job” back in October and the kids and I had to move in with friends ect, ect. I have not had any luck on finding another good job.
Either scheduling conflicts or money, transportation whatever the case! I’ve had NO luck, lol I could care less about living in another suburb or having a nice ride, who really cares? I just want our own place again. For Big Green to keep on trucking and to just LIVE. I never realized how numb and empty I was until the night Angel shut the door behind him.
It’s as if the door closed…and I gasped for what felt like the first breath I had taken in years.
Anyway, one, two, three jobs…for jobs…all came and went for me and it just seemed as though I couldn’t catch a break. Then I met Miss Peggy 🙂 An amazing woman (who I’ll always covet our time) who had started her own business and needed help. Things were going great. I loved this job. The only thing that had been on my mind was more money. I knew in order for us to have our own place I would need to make more cash. I’m not going to go into every detail about things leading up to Sunday but let’s just say the enemy was lurking around the camp and God stood at attention and guarded us from that little devil’s every move.
Sunday morning was a rush as usual. It had started snowing, we had a long two weeks as a family and truthfully NONE of us wanted to go to church. But as I laid there in my bed I just kept thinking “We need to go…” All of my kids were pissed off at me for making them get up and go, but if there is one thing I’ve learned. If you expect something, it’ll come.
God moved Sunday at church. He moved gently, hovering about my family as a couple of us began to cry and hold hands. As Pastor Matt laid hands on my Hanja and began to pray, my body began to feel as though I was floating at that point I knew I had to press in and pray for my kids. Their futures, their spouses, their every day life, and at that moment I felt another hand latch onto my pinky finger.
It was my oldest, Charlie. He was now crying too.
Pastor Matt called on him and men, real men of God, some that I’ve known since high school, some just a few short years, even months. They surrounded my son as he stood there weeping for the first time I had ever seen.
I could go on and on but I’ll move to the ride home.
We were laughing, having a good time when I noticed a text I had gotten from my boss.
Beyond Peggy’s control things happened and she had no other choice but to let me go 😦 I laughed and said a few words trying not to let my kids know a rub was just pulled out from under us, again. Later that evening I told my oldest daughter what happened and she just started crying. You would have thought she lost the job, lol But like I said earlier it’s been a long hard road since “he” left us.
“I’m not going to panic” I told myself. Just like so many times the past few years I repeated “I’ll get over it, it’s just a bump in the road.”
So far the road has sucked…But by the words in my OWN testimony from earlier that day at church “There’s a revelation here, somewhere there is a revelation I need to see.” I called a friend I had worked with, Kim. She informed me she could get me a few hours here and there but nothing concrete. I totally didn’t care, at this point I just need to keep moving, keep working. It was late, so she called the owner the next day. Again I’ll spare details but basically there was a period of FOUR SMALL HOURS where I was calling Kim, she was calling the owner, I was doing “mom stuff” and strategically GOD ordained another phone call between the owner, Kim and then mine. A NEW client. Who pays the same exact pay I got at my “good job” from back in October. Monday thru Friday…normal people hours 🙂 The owner said to me “If I had talked to you yesterday or tomorrow these hours wouldn’t be there. This is completely God timed for you Cheryl.”
Now, I could tell you how just that morning I had told my daughter “Even though I need full-time to be able to get us a place again, I’ll take whatever.” Or just that Friday telling my son “Sometimes, God has a plan we know nothing about yet.” Sooo many things said, prayed for, so many…And will this be the perfect job?
Will it lead on to the point it’s permanent?
I don’t know.
I don’t know any of those answers. I do know, however. That God has me. Even when the devil is poking and poking at my family, and throwing life circumstances at us one right after another, God always glides in like Tom Cruise across the floor in his socks in Risky Business…HAHAHA…and saves the day.
When all is hopeless, He is God.
When all is good. He is God.
When all is lost, He is God.
When all is well, He is God.
The revelation? A situation arising weeks before in my job with Peggy, yet God knew that phone call, that client needed service but had to call the owner of my old job at that day, that hour, that moment because I would need FULL TIME, GOOD PAY hours.
How awesome is He?
A million over a million times has God “pulled moves” like this since I can remember while I’ve journeyed with Him and every single time it takes my breath away of how faithful He is to me.
Selah…
Cheryl
NOTE: Hold My Mule reference courtesy Shirley Caesar 🙂 Look it up!
Gesuschic 