Gesuschic

 We lived in the east side of Columbus, Ohio. Yes, it was known as “the ghetto.” Our big huge green house literally sat in an alleyway and had no drive way. My house was so close to the railroad tracks, whenever I was on the phone with a friend and that train was going by, my friend would say “OH MY GOSH WHAT IS THAT?” Hahaha…As a kid, I freaking hated that. It was incredibly embarrassing, loud, and the epitome of uncool, haha
But every single night, usually right after supper, my Grandpa would go outside to the gate at the front of our house and stand. Our good and faithful German Shepherd by his side, Skipper. And every so often I’d see my Gramps with his marlboro red cigarette in his left hand, raise up his right and wave. Skip would run back and forth along the fence, barking at the loud train going by as if he wanted nothing more in life than to be given the chance to chase after it.
I think I was around 12 or 13 years old when one day I asked him;
“Grandpa, why are you waving at that stupid train?”
He looked down at me as he took the cigaret from his mouth, exhaled the smoke from the left side corner of his mouth, laughed two chuckles and said:
“Tommie-Girl, the man sitting in the caboose. His job is to look after everything and make sure the crew have a safe place to rest.”
For YEARS I watched as my Grandpa would stand out there and wave at the man sitting in the caboose. I would even see him wave back from time to time. As if he looked for my Grandpa and our old barking German Shepherd.
 From time to time as I got older, in my life I would always refer to myself in the “spiritual sense” as being the caboose of Christianity. Even being married to the Youth Pastor I was the last to know anything, the last to be invited anywhere, the last to be thought of when making plans, always the last at anything. I was never good at being apart of an “inner circle” ever in my life, haha Kind of like the third verse of a hymn. You hear people in church use the term “BE THE HEAD AND NOT THE TAIL, AND NOTHING LESS!” (Deuteronomy 28, kjv)
But as my thoughts reminded me of this memory of my Gramps… I kind of like being the caboose of the body, the spiritual body I should say 😉 Subconsciously, It’s probably why I always referred to myself that way to be honest.
I may not be in the spotlight of a big Ministry or my name may not be dropped in circles of “the cool kids” at church, and I may not be the one everybody in church looks to for “sound spiritual wisdom…” (said in my best James Earl Jones impersonation) but ya know what?
It’s okay.
I don’t need to be that person.
The thing with being the head and not the tail is…
When you represent a BODY, SOMEONE HAS TO BE THE TAIL.
It doesn’t mean I’m not entitled to all of those amazing blessings. It just means in the circles I run…I head up the back. And again, that’s okay. I don’t think it was meant to be any other way. I come from a family of being the rear end of the Body, hahaha It’s a big responsibility to be the last cart on the train. The things we do aren’t ever seen, only by God.
To me? That’s BIG STUFF.
There’s no crowd telling me how good I’m doing or no smiling faces to show me approval.
It’s just whomever comes across my doorstep for rest and security….and God. Not many people can handle it, but He knew my family could.
Some have said I could “possess so MUCH more” and be entitled for “great things,” but how foolish to think the part I play in the Kingdom hasn’t already given me those things?
That they actually already ARE those things to me?
I’m an evangelist.
Not the kind who speaks to crowds of thousands.
But the kind whose never met a stranger.
The kind who bumps into a pregnant unwed teenager in the bathroom of a Wal-Mart, and shares a glimpse of hope to her future.
The kind who has a “spiritually divine” appointment with someone who was lost in the cracks of Sunday morning church or Saturday afternoon visitation.
Wondering around the train, finally needing a place to sit for awhile and be safe…And when they get there, they’ll find me.
And God willing 😉 I’ll do my part.

Choo-Choo!!
CHERyL

Well, the last time I blogged I was in Ft. Wayne, Indiana. I had picked up my entire family; My kids, my cats, packed everything up in Big Green and set off to start a new life. Happily Metal After.
As usual things can never be that easy for me, ever.
I have to learn every single lesson the hardest way imaginable because I am the most strong willed person anyone can ever meet. But only when I’m told I can’t or shouldn’t do something. It’s as if my inner brat at 4 years old comes to life and it becomes my mission in life to prove all the “haters” wrong. It usually doesn’t take long for pride to trip me up and I fall flat on my face and realize how much of a dumb ass I am though.
Praise God for such good and FAITHFUL friends.
Once again though I’m at the mercy of a dear friend and I’ve never felt more safe and secluded in my life. I love it here. She’s one of my best friends. I owe her my life, literally. Her and my Pastor.
Matt Rice from Life Church Columbus is one of the best men I have ever known in my LIFE. He’s pure gold. No, he’s not perfect. I by no means throw my Pastor on a pedestal and look at him through rose colored glasses. He has his flaws like the rest of the universe but he doesn’t hide them, he’s real. He completely gets the fact we’re all just broken pieces trying to find our way back together and the major thing that sets him apart from the rest of the “men of the cloth…” is that he hasn’t lost his passion for the lost, hurting, and broken, and with that being said he keeps the golden rule; Love them right where they’re at. I’m blessed to be able to call my Pastor my friend.
So, here I am. Back in the amazing BUCKEYE STATE. Jamming to the Alabama Shakes. Drinking my beverage of choice ~ milk/pepsi 😉 Burning incense and starting over…again. But it’s okay man.
You live and you learn. Adventures are good. Well, for the most part they are. Haha!
How boring would life be if you just stood on the side of the pool watching everyone else dive in and having fun? Meanwhile your fear of cold water is keeping you from existing. I decided to take a chance, choosing the adventure and dive in. Turns out the water in Indiana sucked 😉
Too many sharks wanting to devour your soul, ya feel me?
We’ll just leave it at that and move on. At least I can look back on this as a learned lesson, making me wiser through my experience and not looking back in question of “should I have…” Or “What if I’d…”
The main thing I was reminded of though. Through this whole crazy adventure and life experience is this simple truth (And trust me, I would NOT lie to ya!). Don’t ever think it can work with someone who is an unbeliever. I compromised my beliefs and that is the very thing that has always grounded me. My roots run deep. I lost that for the sake of thinking this was best for my family. PA…..LEEEZE…The ONLY thing that will EVER benefit my fruitcake family of five is WAITING ON GOD. Don’t rush it…Do NOT RUSH YOUR LIFE. God is completely in control man. Don’t attempt to get ahead of Him. He’s God, duh! I feel like I’m right in the middle of something. I have no idea what, but it’s something. Why am I here? Why are we all here? My friends, we are here for one thing and one thing only. Everybody has a plan and purpose beautifully etched out by God. Sometimes the plan and future of it, is totally mapped out for us. But hey man, sometimes, it just isn’t. For some of us our plan and purpose is given to us as we walk through our journey. There are REASONS for that! Maybe you’re like me. You look at the plan drawn out and you get pissy thinking; “Oh no…God, that is NOT gonna work for me.” Keep in mind, the bible is full of Cheryl’s. One of them ended up in a belly of a fish for three days. Trust me…getting spit back up sucks. You’re stinky, you feel like an ass, you gotta start all over again…Trust me, whether you know your future or you don’t, just wait and follow God. His plan. His purpose. He’s a good God. I may have stumbled back down the side of the mountain a bit. But He allowed me to catch myself.
Regroup and refocus is what I’m doing. And although I’m a complete tragedy once again. I feel like God is merciful as always, with me being here, and covering me, and allowing me to feel totally settled.
But hey man, with a crazy kid like me to watch over, God has no other choice than to swoop down, consume me and whisper ever so gently…”I told you, I got this.”

SELAH….
CHERyL