When you take a moment to sit down and reflect on your life and compare to where you are to where you were, it’s odd how many different perspectives people can have.
Even if they’ve walked the same path.
The journey of life can be so different to so many people even if the last few chapters were shared together.
I can’t speak for anyone but myself. However, it can be incredibly heartbreaking to find even after walking through hell and making it out to the other side the person you walked along side has decided it just wasn’t enough.
My view of life is through stained glass windows and it’s not because I block out the horrors of my life, it’s because I choose to find the amazing beauty in whatever moment comes my way. My brother would say to me “we were poor, but mom and dad never let us know it.” lol I suppose that’s why I am the way I am. Adding the amount of loss I’ve endured I can’t be any other way.
It’s not that my reality isn’t up to par to cold hard truth, it’s just that I CHOOSE to live a life embracing the blessings I’ve had and have. Life is completely unpredictable man. It’s there, right there. Sadly you can’t always choose the path life decides to grant to you, but you can definitely choose on how you walk it. Some people choose to constantly work at being “better.” There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. However in doing that some people can lose sense of the truly amazing moments. You get so caught up in striving for what you could have instead of enjoying and basking in the blessings of what you already do.
My life, looking back had it’s dark, dreary moments but my God…the simplistic moments. The ones that I truly cherish, I cling to them. I want them for my children.
Laughter all through the night with a friend talking about bands, boys, dreams…Waking up on Sunday mornings to my mom in the kitchen preparing that afternoons lunch humming and singing old hymns, going swimming in the old water hole every Saturday afternoon with my brothers, weekend bonfires, concerts at the King’s Place freezing my butt off waiting to get inside, lol The birth of my children, falling in love for the first time, getting my license, my first car, my first kiss…These moments keep me grounded.
I can ponder on the bad.
I was raped at a very young age.
Tortured by bully’s in high school.
Had someone tell me they no longer were in love with me when I still loved them so fuckin’ much with all I had….
My heart has been broken.
My emotions truly beat down and left with no hope.
Those moments made me strong. Without them I would have never of learned how to be a survivor. But without the moments in my life that kept me and to this day still keep me grounded, rooted to be exact…I would have never of learned that I was so much more than the passing moment of a heartbreak.
I too refuse to live my life a certain way that would cause me to forget where I came from. I won’t worry about tomorrow. No man is promised it! And today, TODAY I choose to just live in the simplicity of MY path. I will walk this life and I will have joy as my company, laughter as my support and the pure genuine love of friends, family, strangers to help guide me through each and every turn.
I can’t stop heartache.
Of course the roadblocks will be there but they are moments to remind me of the strong person my parents taught me to be and help me realize that their lessons weren’t in vain, But now my reality of what I myself, also believe.
The heartache, sadness, pain will all eventually pass. You will move on, I…will…move…on…one foot right in front of the other. However, the joy of just being who you are, RIGHT where you are, those moments will keep you moving.
No one can say for certainty on what another may or may not “see coming” toward them because in all fairness people see life through different views, different windows, lol And right now mine are all open! Life is totally different than what I expected it to be today but hey…It may be raining but the wind is softly blowing and smell of fresh rain is comforting.

Abide~
Cheryl