I know that whenever Pastor Bryn begins to speak God is about to smack me in the face with a brick.
True story 🙂
Spiritually speaking of course.
All she said was “God can reach us in those dark…hopeless…places…”
Sitting at work today in my head my words to God; “I just feel as though I’m in a well. Not of wishes but just a dark hopeless well with no light in sight.”
I swear Pastor Bryn is right THERE in my head, Saturday after Saturday, facebook status after facebook status. God be with me if she ever decides to get on Twitter! (hahaha) Just kidding!
Every week I walk into church and I lay before the Father all that I am…My dreams, goals…the family I grieve for and the wrongs that I’ve done to people and what they have done to me…I pray He keeps me humble, watch over me with mercy and love me with grace. Yet at approximately 7:45pm I leave with the SAME crap that my flesh has been having a tug of war battle with in the spirit for a VERY long time.
Some things you hold onto out of fear of failing, fear of God not listening, or both.
With me it’s not just those things but my stronghold is more of a “comfort food” if you will. I’m my own worst enemy.
The biggest hypocrite of them all.
 Raging from the roof tops to anyone who will listen how JESUS can set ANYONE free, there is POWER in the blood yet as a child not wanting to put back the toy he’s be carrying around the store, I stand before Him holding it behind my back.
“TAKE MY LIFE LORD…IT’S YOURS! DO WITH IT AS YOU WILL…I COMPLETELY TRUST YOU IN EVERYTHING…except for this ONE thing…”
I have some nerve.
How can I profess FREEDOM in Christ when I myself stand stagnant in sin and complacency?
I’m totally ashamed of myself.
As well as I should be.
The children of Israel wondered around the desert for FORTY YEARS what should have been a 12 hour trip. I wonder myself…
But I’m too hungry to be walking for another decade waiting for things I could already be SEEING if I just COMPLETELY SURRENDER. 
I CRAVE the presence of the Father. It sounds totally gross, but I want Him to mark His territory as a dog would, on my ENTIRE BEING. Without a word spoken I want people to KNOW who I AM is by the smell from my spirit as I walk into a room.
Like those who I’ve read about in my Bible, those who have spiritually mentored me in my life and those who walk among me now.
Being stagnant by the very baggage He sacrificed His Son for, so I wouldn’t even have to carry it in the first place is ridiculous. 
This is it for me…
I’m letting it go and moving forward with my eyes WIDE shut and my SPIRIT completely OPEN…

Watch Out For The Bricks,
In Him,
The Whore At His Feet…