WRITTEN: January 2012

Church was so beautiful Sunday. It’s funny, I would never have thought Matt Rice would one day be my Pastor when I was wind millin’ my hair front and center watching his band rock out at the Al Rosa 20 some years ago. But that’s why God is so cool and awesome. The things you could never imagine, He…can bring to life. When you’re a Christian actually walking in the presence of the Holy Spirit life is always moving forward with each step a leap out of the boat and onto the water, yet your whole mind set is within a complete peace. I haven’t felt that in a VERY long time. Circumstance, anger and bitterness creeps at every corner, every doorway lurking, waiting for a way in and sadly sometimes it finds itself nestled in your spirit and it happens. 
You begin to die. 
Spiritually, just…dying. 
Crazy how you don’t even realize it happens. Bitterness for a Believer is like Cancer. If not treated you just begin to completely shut down. 
Before you know it you are too weak to eat, function…and eventually just die. For a long time I could tell it was happening but by the point I did I really didn’t care. As Pastor Matt said: “your dreams have died.” Sooo true man…Before, I was so excited thinking how God was going to move next and now…eh…I remember when…
I totally hate that feeling. 
When I’m not close to God I am totally miserable. Anyone who knows me can see it all over my face. It’s hard when you allow that bitterness to take over how you also become estranged from allowing yourself to be …GULP…vulnerable. (GASP!) But I do miss it though. I miss having confidence in the fact that no matter WHAT life has for me GOD will be my security. In loss…happiness…grief…everyday living. These past two weeks have been such an eye opener for me. It is SO crucial to CLING to Jesus. In EVERY situation of my life. 
Good times, bad times…ALWAYS CLING TO JESUS because man, life can change and in an INSTANT your whole entire world can be thrown into a loop. I hated having that happen while being out of the will of the Father. Reason being was because it was no longer a concern about GOD’S WILL yet MY OWN. I have JOY in the fact God is God, and I’m NOT Him 🙂 Everything Pastor Matt talked about Sunday was totally for me. I just knew it too. I knew God was waiting for me…My spiritual bones have been dead and stagnant for so long I was almost too embarrassed to even go to church last Sunday. Yet at the same time I couldn’t lay there dying forfeiting my destiny. Pastor Matt talked about so many important factors on The Gate Church Sunday but the thing I walked away with was the fact I STILL serve a God of do~over’s, A just God who is all for restoration and grace. There is no doubt in my mind that I serve a SOVEREIGN Holy God who isn’t waiting for me to fail, yet encouraging me to get back up and get moving again. 
Have I fallen before?
Shit man, who hasn’t? But guess what? “DO OVER!!!” And there is Jesus, in the MIDDLE of my storm, my RAGING sea waiting for me to step up out of the boat and focus my eyes on Him.
I feel refreshed. Blessed He has brought me this far despite myself. 
What is your sea? 
What is raging against you?
Finances, love, employment, it can be anything, whatever it is…Screw it man! You CAN’T make it through without God. Without focusing in on Jesus. It’s scary starting over man…But dude that is GRACE. 
Children have to learn to crawl before they can walk. I’m starting over in my relationship with Jesus and trust me for the past 6 years I have been crawling my way toward Him but Sunday…I took a step. Monday another, Tuesday…Wednesday…Every single day I feel stronger and stronger and it won’t ever be like it was before. But that’s okay. This is NEW wine. the open invitation Jesus laid before me has been accepted and my glass has been REFRESHED. 
Today is here, I can’t change the past by any means but I can raise my glass, link arms with Christ as we toast to my dead bones brought to life and my dreams becoming alive again. He is faithful…so faithful…Praise the Lord  for real men of God and their obedience to the calling in their lives! there are NO coincidences people! There is reason for everything. You NEVER know what God is doing so just “go with it” have confidence He is in control and the faith to believe He knows what He’s doing 😉 


SELAH, \o/
CHERyL