October 10th 2010
That crazy feeling that everyone and anyone is out to get you.
It just happens.
Your whole life you stand and believe that one day all of the efforts you have put into action will finally grant you acceptance. But then cold, harsh reality sets in and once again life and it’s cruel little minions remind you that it just will never be possible.
No matter the reason, it could be the way you look, the style of clothing you wear, your smile just isn’t right or you just don’t look the part of what acceptance is in the eyes of other people.
You try your best not to allow it to bother you but it’s simply impossible because out of all the differences people in the world have, the one thing that remains is…EVERYONE needs to feel like they are accepted.
And when you aren’t…you feel as though you are the loneliest person in the world. It takes a toll on everything around you.
Your job,
your children,
your husband,
even how you view yourself…
Screaming at the top of every roof “YOUR OPINIONS WILL NOT DEFINE ME!” However deep inside your soul you and God know that it most certainly does.
And no matter how many showers you take the faucet can never pour out enough water to clean the emptiness you are tortured with so you just stand there, leaning against the wall with your hands on your face and cry and cry and cry….
It’s worse that those you are surrounded by the most don’t even see it…or is it that they don’t really care to?
Life is cruel.
The people who mattered most, who loved you the most, who accepted you…always were stricken and stolen way to soon and you are just left wondering why?
What have you done that was ever so bad to leave you like this? Feeling lost, abandoned and unaccepted with no one to understand, relate or sympathize.
But yet you have no choice but to move forward.
All you can do is tuck away the sad, broken heart and crushed spirit and place very slowly one step in front of the other.
Regardless if you are ever to be loved and accepted for the person you are it’s completely irrelevant with you to just…keep…moving…
It just happens.
Your whole life you stand and believe that one day all of the efforts you have put into action will finally grant you acceptance. But then cold, harsh reality sets in and once again life and it’s cruel little minions remind you that it just will never be possible.
No matter the reason, it could be the way you look, the style of clothing you wear, your smile just isn’t right or you just don’t look the part of what acceptance is in the eyes of other people.
You try your best not to allow it to bother you but it’s simply impossible because out of all the differences people in the world have, the one thing that remains is…EVERYONE needs to feel like they are accepted.
And when you aren’t…you feel as though you are the loneliest person in the world. It takes a toll on everything around you.
Your job,
your children,
your husband,
even how you view yourself…
Screaming at the top of every roof “YOUR OPINIONS WILL NOT DEFINE ME!” However deep inside your soul you and God know that it most certainly does.
And no matter how many showers you take the faucet can never pour out enough water to clean the emptiness you are tortured with so you just stand there, leaning against the wall with your hands on your face and cry and cry and cry….
It’s worse that those you are surrounded by the most don’t even see it…or is it that they don’t really care to?
Life is cruel.
The people who mattered most, who loved you the most, who accepted you…always were stricken and stolen way to soon and you are just left wondering why?
What have you done that was ever so bad to leave you like this? Feeling lost, abandoned and unaccepted with no one to understand, relate or sympathize.
But yet you have no choice but to move forward.
All you can do is tuck away the sad, broken heart and crushed spirit and place very slowly one step in front of the other.
Regardless if you are ever to be loved and accepted for the person you are it’s completely irrelevant with you to just…keep…moving…
Gesuschic 
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